It's been one year since the possibility of moving to New Zealand first presented itself to our family.
In February 2017, our plan to move out of Washington, D.C. to a farmhouse in rural Virginia fizzled. We were back to Square One on the "what's next" question. We knew we needed to move, and we knew any move would depend on Shane's job. He's the one with the fancy degree who earns the big money, after all ;)
He also happens to be quite a catch in his field, apparently, as he snagged several interviews within weeks of going on the job market. Those positions turned out to be all over the map, from West Coast to New England, USA, Europe to New Zealand, and they all had their own costs and benefits.
But one option on the list immediately "felt" better than the rest: New Zealand. Something about the job, the country, the culture appealed to us in an instinctual way -- and Shane and I tend to make our best decisions based on instinct.
We're not what you'd call over-thinkers, especially me. My mom, for instance, will spend years shopping for the perfect sofa. I've spent mere minutes on the same task.
Within two weeks of meeting Shane, I had a feeling I would marry him. We were engaged about 8 months later and married 8 months after that. Best decision I ever made -- and I know Shane would agree (he better!!).
When we started thinking about kids, I literally went to the local library and read a few books on caring for a newborn. It didn't look that hard in print (I was severely misled!!) so we decided, why not? Two weeks later, I was pregnant with the Adorable Girl.
When shopping for the house we ended up buying in Northern Virginia, we walked through, maybe, 3 houses before putting in an offer on the one we bought. We knew right away it would work for us -- even though our realtor insisted we look at at least one more in the neighborhood just to be sure.
Shane and I are fairly laid-back, resilient people. We don't often get hung up on the details of life. We tend to see the overall good, laugh at the bad and find our way through whatever situation comes up. This is definitely NOT to say life is easy or perfect or always happy for us. It's not at all. And we've had some major fails along the way (hello, 2009!). But we do trust that we can "make it work" Tim Gunn-style, whatever "it" needs to be.
So when it came to thinking about moving abroad...we really didn't do much thinking at all.
When Shane got that job offer via email, our response was an easy "yes." We knew we would have a lot of work ahead of us to close up shop in the U.S. and get our family settled on the other side of the world. But we also had a hunch it would be more than worth it.
We truly based our decision on how it felt. The thought of living in Auckland, New Zealand was exciting, yet comfortable. It didn't seem at all intimidating or scary -- though other possibilities, such as London, did for me. The job felt like a good fit. The more we read about the city and the culture, the more we realized how right it would be for our family.
We didn't make a list of pros and cons and analyze data points. Potential expats -- including us -- probably SHOULD do those things, especially when it comes to understanding things like the cost of living, the healthcare system, the political system, language barriers, safety and security, the ability to travel back home, etc. But I can honestly say, we didn't.
Of course, we learned as much as we could during the moving process. But when it came to making that initial decision, we went with our gut. And it didn't do us wrong. Moving to New Zealand has been life changing in all the best ways for our family.
Which brings me to this one piece of advice, if I have any, about how to think about moving abroad: In short, don't -- at least, not too much. Trust your gut. If you know yourself and your family's wants and needs, you will know if moving to another country is right for you.
And then, err on the side of risk. Take a chance. See what happens. Give yourself the opportunity to try something new, something scary, something potentially amazing. Remember life doesn't have to be perfect to be good. Just be ready to treat yourself with compassion if, in the end, the move turns out to be a misstep. Worst case, you head home a little poorer in cash, richer in experience.
As the Kiwis always say, she'll be right. :)
