I need to start by saying it's been a really hard week to be an American living abroad, to watch international news of actions unfolding on the American border.
I know that everyone here in New Zealand, including our friends, has seen those same images and heard those same news reports of immigrant families being pulled apart, of children being sent away from Mom and Dad. And it's made me hang my head a bit, feel embarrassed of who we are as Americans -- especially since my family, like those you see on the news, is an immigrant family now.
Being an immigrant -- even a legal one -- is not easy. The process of securing a legal right to move to another country can be long and stressful, expensive and intrusive -- and until you've done it, you really can't understand what it's like.
Our family was leaps and bounds ahead of the curve since we're well educated, speak the language, have money to spare and a job waiting for us in our new country. And it was STILL difficult. Incredibly stressful. Incredibly expensive. And somewhat demeaning. I actually had to have TWO psych evaluations to prove I was less crazy than my medical records (with a history of depression) let on. And getting a pysch evaluation to prove you're not crazy when you're actually really, really stressed is not all that easy!
But, and this is important, when we were going through that process, our family was safe in our home in Virginia. Not happy, mind you, but safe. We weren't fleeing for our lives or moving to protect our children (though I've had a long think on if we did flee the U.S. on another platform. Note to our conservative parents: Don't waste your time on that essay. :)
We had a safe place to call home while we worked to move that home to the other side of the world. But even then it was scary arriving in New Zealand with my two kids and four pieces of luggage, approaching that customs desk with our passports for the first time.
Even with visas in hand, passports in place, even knowing Shane was on the other side of a long wall waiting for us, I couldn't know for sure we'd be allowed in our new country. Our fate still rested with the authorities of New Zealand. And our whole lives, our whole worth as human beings were reduced to a few pieces of paper. Documents. Standard forms. That was a scary moment for me, but luckily it passed quickly and our family was reunited on the other side.
That's one reason it's been so hard for me to see news of families with far less means and far more at stake facing the unbelievable fate of having their children taken away in those moments when they turn their lives over to the authorities ....I just....I can't.
So that's where I've been, mentally, this week, as I'm sure many of you have been as well. But instead of focusing only on that, I want to share some good news, something that's been making me smile and tear up with pride every time I think of it: Our Prime Minister's a mum!!
New Zealand's Prime Minister is a beautiful, 37-year-old woman named Jacinda Ardern. She leads the Labour Party, which is fairly close to the American Democratic Party. She took office in October after a surprise alliance was formed between her party, the far right, New Zealand First, and the far left Green Party.
It was extremely exciting to watch her rise to the top of her party -- what's been billed Jacindamania -- and eventually take leadership of her country. Especially for a family of Americans pretty crushed by the rhetoric and results of the last presidential election. "See," I could tell the Adorable Girl,"women CAN do ANYTHING." Now I can tell her, "Mum's can do anything too!"
Jacinda's "wee one" was born Thursday, healthy and beautiful. Mum and Dad, a fishing show host who will be a stay-at-home papa (NOT uncommon in New Zealand) looked so happy and a bit tired, already. The baby came on an auspicious day, the birthday of Benazir Bhutto, the Pakistani Prime Minister who also gave birth while in office, though she was, sadly, assassinated in 2007.
Congratulations have been flowing in. The Queen allegedly emailed a letter. That honestly doesn't seem like something she would know how to do, but whatever. I like to imagine her accidentally attaching a nude of Phillip ;)
A former Prime Minister Helen Clark tweeted, "Congratulations to @jacindaardern & @NZClarke on the birth of their daughter today. What a proud day for Jacinda & Clarke & for us all. New life, new hope. Parenting arrangements are #genderequality in action. This is 21st C NZ. #ProudKiwi"
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau tweeted, "Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting @jacindaardern & Clarke! Pro tip, Jacinda: Briefing notes make excellent bed time stories."
Even Benazir Bhutto's daughter took time to congratulate the new mum, adding a news article titled, “Benazir Bhutto showed you can be a mother and prime minister.”
And I'm sure Jacinda will make Bhutto proud. Ardern seems lovely, incredibly smart and competent, kind and humble -- like a good Kiwi is. :) And since being a Mom is hard, I'll assume being a Mum is the same. But I have no doubt she -- like all the amazing Moms and Mums I know -- will figure it out. We always do. :)
My heart just fills with pride for our adopted country when I think of Jacinda and her daughter and the example they're setting for my own Adorable Girl. THIS is the future, I remind myself when other news brings me to tears. THIS is where we're going, even if some in power want to drag us in other directions. You can't stop the progress of good and right. It always finds a way.
As Jacinda told an American magazine reporter earlier this year, “We’re small. But we do our bit by standing up for what we believe in.”
This is the New Zealand I know, and the New Zealand I've come to love. And when news from home gets too heavy, this is the hope I turn to.
