3 years in New Zealand

Today marks our 1,096th day living in New Zealand. The kids and I arrived at the Auckland Airport three years ago ready to be reunited with Shane and our dog, Moses, ready to see our new home.

That 30-minute drive from the airport has stuck with me. Our first time flying down the motorway on the left-hand side of the road (eek!). Our first time seeing beautiful Auckland with its mix of volcanic mountains, palm trees, Norfolk pines and water, everywhere. Everything looked beautiful, exotic. I remember seeing the buildings, the trees, the cars, the businesses and thinking they all looked a little...well, strange.

For months after we arrived, everything looked different, every thought I had compared what we were doing and what we were seeing to how it was done in America. "So strange," I thought, "to have a shower AND a bathtub in your bathroom." "How weird to have these traffic circles on every road we drive on. Haven't they heard about stop signs?" And my most common thought in those early days: "How much is that?? Well, I never!" (said while clutching my pearls haha)

I felt different in those early days, too. Shy, worried about talking to clerks at the grocery store, unsure what people would make of my American-mountain girl accent. Would they understand me -- or I them? I felt myself watching a lot, studying this new place and these new people. How did they do things here? What sort of things made them laugh? What sort of ways did they say hello? What side of the hallway did they walk down??

It was fascinating sociology work, yet exhausting too. I balanced a constant feeling of being out-of-place with the mighty desire to play it cool. I felt like I was back in high school ;) But what I learned as the weeks went on was that I didn't need to be so scared to be myself. New Zealand is a kind country, and the people we met were always kind to us. They welcomed us, embraced our differences with some lighthearted teasing and made us feel at home.

New Zealand is home to us. The businesses that once looked so strange are now the places we know to go for a new frying pan, that special crafting clay the kids love, the American Cheetos we can't find at the regular grocery store. When we were looking at homes to buy, the thought of more than one toilet in a house seemed like an unnecessary luxury (one we couldn't afford, though some days I really do miss my American bathrooms.) Those roundabouts I was so scared to navigate? They're actually incredibly handy. I don't get why Americans are so reluctant to use them.

Things that were strange became normal, and things that were normal became ... strange.

Watching America from New Zealand has been really hard, perhaps that hardest part of our move abroad. Thinking about our home, our real home, the country where so many of our friends and family members live, worrying about them, about their safety, about their health -- it's been...tough. We wish for America the same sort of peace we feel here, the same sort of calm that comes from knowing you and your family are safe -- from the virus, from gun violence, from misinformation, from selfish leaders, from police brutality, from oh so many things.

New Zealand is not perfect, and being an outsider here allows us to see those imperfections in a more vivid sort of way. But the experience of being in New Zealand at this time in America's history has made the flaws in our home country flash like a neon sign.

We are grateful to be right where we are. It's a feeling I have felt every single one of our 1,096 days here -- even on those days that were hard (and there have been many), even on the days when we missed our family and friends in America so much a WhatsApp call just didn't cut it. We still felt grateful to be in New Zealand. And we want so badly for America to have what we have here -- the right to kindness, to community, to living without overwhelming amounts of fear. That uniquely American brand of anxiety may have felt completely normal to me 1,097 days ago -- but living in New Zealand has shown me that's not a way to truly live.

So what will our fourth year in New Zealand bring? I'm hesitant to even imagine after the way 2020 has gone so far for the world. ;) But my hope is -- more of the same. More days exploring this beautiful land, more play dates with good friends, more school days and lazy days and days we can't stand each other anymore :). Just more...life...in a place that has given us so much. In the place we call home.