Lockdown Take 2 and a new new normal

If you've been getting your news strictly from the bully pulpit of the U.S. President, you may be worrying about us down here in New Zealand. President Trump spent a few days in recent weeks criticizing our "big surge" in coronavirus cases as a "terrible" second wave that "nobody wants." But we're actually doing pretty well here. No need for real concern. :)

We did have a resurgence of Covid after more than 100 days with zero cases of community transmission. The origin of our second outbreak has still not been discovered, but the quick action of our government meant effects were limited. The virus spread to about 100 people and has, sadly, caused two deaths. But it is contained. And we are, as a nation, once again living as normal a life as one can live in these strange times.

This latest outbreak was a bit different for New Zealand. Instead of cases being spread throughout the country, they were centered in Auckland, the biggest city in the country and the city we live in. That meant the response centered on Auckland as well.

The city was put into what we call a Level 3 lockdown, which involves pretty serious restrictions on movement. Nobody could come into the city or leave without good reason. Schools and offices were closed. Retail was shut down with the exception of grocery stores, pharmacies and online orders. Residents had to stick to their family bubbles, wear masks in public and stay in their local area for any outdoor recreation.

Aucklanders lived with these Level 3 restrictions for more than 2 weeks and, last Monday, moved to what we're calling a Level 2.5. Schools and offices are open with physical distancing requirements. Stores are open with masks encouraged and distancing enforced. Travel throughout the country has resumed. Life is back to normal in a new sort of normal for us, one in which the virus is present but contained, masks are encouraged and we all take more caution with our behaviour.

Lockdown 2.0 was really hard for many of us in Auckland. That taste of regular life we got in between outbreaks meant we sometimes forgot the havoc being wreaked on the rest of the world. We weren't really thinking about Covid much anymore here, only when worrying about family and friends back home, or when reading the news from abroad. We felt lucky, grateful and proud of what our country had accomplished in beating the virus.

But then the virus was back. And the feeling I had -- and, as I later learned, many of my friends experienced -- was anger. We were mad this was happening again. We were mad the virus was still a threat for our families. I felt overwhelmed and wondered the point of it all. How many times would our lives be disrupted? How many times would we be stuck at home?

That anger -- though totally normal, in my opinion -- changed the whole tenor of our second lockdown here. People in the rest of New Zealand, who did not go into lockdown and therefore had minimal changes to their daily lives, seemed at odds with us. They took to social media to blame us personally for the resurgence. People in Auckland and the media were looking for someone to blame too -- the communities affected by the virus, the government for perceived failings. Our fantastic public health official Ashley Bloomfield took to repeating this line: "People are not the problem. The virus is the problem. People are the solution."

And he's right, of course. But it's less satisfying to rail against an invisible enemy.

While our first lockdown was about making the best use of our time -- finding new recipes to try, making lots of art with the kids, setting up little rituals to get us through the weeks -- this lockdown was about survival. I felt like I was clawing my way through the days.

Shane retreated to his "office" and disappeared in his work, and he was mostly fine. I got the kids through the bare minimum of school work, made sure everyone was fed and the house somewhat clean. And then, I just indulged the crumminess of it all. We played a lot of Minecraft and watched a whole heck of a lot of YouTube. I watched an entire documentary series about the Troubles in Northern Ireland, a terribly depressing way to spend a week.

Nobody was thriving but we were surviving. We got through it -- again.

And the sacrifice was worth it. The virus is, once again, contained here. School is open and practices have resumed -- and our life looks pretty darn good when held up against the mirror of the world.

But something changed for me and for New Zealand when Covid returned. We were reminded that, though we are lucky to live in a nation that has tackled this threat with more skill than many others, we are still living in a world with Covid 19. And that world, frankly, sucks.

"If it feels hard, that's because it has been," our Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern told us in the last week of our latest lockdown. That simple but profoundly thoughtful statement brought tears to my eyes when I heard her say it from the podium of the daily press conference.

This is hard. That's why it feels so hard.

Allow yourself to acknowledge that truth, indulge it for awhile and let the feelings of anger, sadness, overwhelm, whatever it is you're feeling, be felt. Because what I was reminded in Lockdown 2.0, is that feelings pass, just as days and weeks and terrible years you think will never end, do. It doesn't have to be pretty. It doesn't have to be about sourdough starters and perfect homeschool setups and fitness glowups and whatever else we've been told will get us through this year. It can be ugly tears on the couch watching a depressing documentary and eating too many brownies.

Do whatever it is that will get you through.

Because we will get through.